I was a miserable and unhappy child at school. And because of this, my teachers saw fit to bully me into doing sports. I feel this was mainly due to the friends I kept at primary school, and less so at high school.
Amongst the delights of compulsory Physical Education we had the highlight of being hacked to pieces by the lesser skilled pupils in football, being lumped to the ground so hard that I thought my coccyx was going to need replaced. Winter on the sports field was never fun by any stretch of the imagination.
Only when it was really cold did we do things indoors. Uni-hoc being a big favourite in the gym. 2 benches, one at either end of the gym, with crappy plastic sticks behind them. If your number was called, your job was to run, get a stick and attempt to score a "goal" by hitting the oppositions bench. I still have the firm belief that I scored the best ever goal in Uni-hoc with a turn that Johan Cruyff would be jealous of. Quick stab at the puck and it hit the bench. It will never be bettered.
In high school we had the trampolines, but they were crap and given half the chance, I'd rather be running about on the slick mud playing football.
Summer sports were the obligatory cricket, tennis and softball. Softball and tennis were the big ones because they were quicker paced and as such, quicker to sort out.
Cricket was always the best though. The batting team generally sat on their arse and did very little until it came to their turn. The standard of bowling was such that when(note: not "if") the ball was struck with any sort of force, it would go for miles. Wooden bats and tennis balls work marvellously for chalking up 36 runs in an over.
I think for 3 months at the end of year 9 there was even a cricket club, which I was bullied into taking part in(I can really whack a ball when it means I don't have to run anywhere for the pleasure of relieving stress) and we had maybe 6 practises before it was disbanded on the grounds of everyone being shite. Myself included.
Despite 6 years of solid objections, "forgotten" kits, notes from parents and a general lack of interest, I still pursued PE as a GCSE subject.
By the age of 15, I had given up on sport almost entirely. I was more into music. But it was too late. I was ruined. I'd gone from "chubby but enthusiastic" to "lazy fat bastard" in less than 2 years really. I often wonder why I got a D for the final mark.
Might have been a B, but I think a pie was obscuring my view.
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4 comments:
PE at school is a nightmare.
fact.
xx
But what about the great fun we had laughing at carl, and then when the trampolines came out watching the girls bouncing about (well the fit ones anyways)
and yet even more taking the piss outa carl
Colin, as you well know, there were almost no fit birds in PE. Let alone ones in our class.
You are welcome.
I always used to enjoy PE. When it was warm anyway.
Rugby in the bottom set in the cold, muddy fields in December when you're too much of a lazy arse to run to keep warm like me isn't fun.
jack
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