Forgive me father for I have sinned.

It has been almost 10 weeks since my last confession and in the time I've done a number of things. Some great, some not so great. Rarely a thing I've done has been an acheivement to be proud of.

Once again, I have come off Ryan's ladders to work indoors, for shit money and long hours, but this time I may not have totally shot myself in the foot. There is a genuine chance of furhtering myself within a company. This is not some tinpot plastic facade at running a pub, this is a chain pub, and I'm in the kitchen, which is hard graft. Hot work. Hazardous work. Lots of scrubbing. To begin with, it seemed like an endless list of chores, but now I know my arse from my elbow with a degree more clarity than I could claim to not 4 weeks earlier, I can confidently say "I Could Go Far"

The only trouble is, I fear that my in-built self-destruct button may push itsself at any moment and extinguish this little flame attempting to light a career beacon. Or some such nonsense analogy. Knowing full well that I have a history of shooting myself in the foot when it comes to chances, and other things not quite dropping right for me at the right moment, I could throw my toys out the pram now, declare it not for me and piss off onto the dole. Just like everything I never wanted to be.

As it is, I work with people I enjoy working with(some quieter than others) and the bar-staff whom I dont have a great deal of contact with it must be said, seem to understand that I talk a load of rot and I'm mostly harmless, and so are slowly warming to me. Methinks. Maybe not. Fuck knows. Doesnt matter anyway. This is the first job I can honestly say I'm enjoying. Pay and hrs notwithstanding, but all the same, its not terrible.

Work aside, I'm still very much infatuated with the delightful other half. I really should tell her more often, but I dont. I'll write a post-it note or something to remind me. Which reminds me, I need to ring her. I also need to ring Marky. Tis the season to get ripped off and bitterly disappointed and all that.

I've moved in with my sister and her burgeoning brood. I adore her kids to bits. My little stars, even if they are incredibly noisy. As far as the dwellings are concerned, there have been murmerings about a move in with Colin and Leanna at the end of this academic year which is ....(carry the 2)...a while away yet. Could get along with that. Colin. Dear Colin. He's leaving his joyous place of employ in the near future and shall be without work, nor money in the foreseeable. Long live student loans and all that jazz.

Right, I've divulged a bit, thats your fix. You have to play nice and EARN your next dose. Plus, I've been at work, twatting about online for over 2hrs now, time for bed, said Zebedee.

King Garry I of Swandanavia